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ILLUSTRATED ESSAY GALLERY
PRESENTS AWARD-WINNING WRITER
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By a TuleVision Staff
Reporter
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Phil Garlington,
an award-winning journalist, finally gave up his resistance to the
Tulevision Editor's incessant cajoling at various social functions
and consented to contribute an essay to the Tulevision
Illustrated Essay Gallery.
The essay, entitled "Too Busy to Work,"
is inspired by Mr. Garlington's recent experience with
corporate downsizing.
The essay is
illustrated by Tulevision's Staff Iconographer.
The usual Illustrated Essay Gallery Grand Opening Celebratory Soirée
has been postponed due to Tulevision's own corporate downsizing.
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POTENTIAL FILM STUDIO LAYOFFS
AT TULEVISION DOT-COM
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By another TuleVision Staff
Reporter
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"It is time
for us to get serious." With those words Alger Tule calls a rare Tulevision staff meeting to order, and
informs the assembled employees that the long-promised
original documentary "The Sad Life of the
Endangered Snail," must be completed and go online in the Film
Studio within 3 weeks.
Upon hearing the delay in production
was due to complications caused by casting the snails in the
proposed "environmentally-sensitive nature documentary," Mr. Tule
warned that even the unpaid Tulevision interns may lose their jobs
if the
project is not turned in within 3 weeks.
A whispered audience discussion
followed in which the mental competence of the 101 year-old
founder of the Tulevision website was questioned.
The Daily
Astonisher will provide updates as this human interest story
unfolds.
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TULEVISION DOT-COM STOCKS
TAKE A TUMBLE
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By a TuleVision Staff
Reporter
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tulevision.net
stock certificates, part of a private issue to its staff, have
fallen behind the Tulevision filing cabinets and will be difficult
to retrieve.
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~~~
Letters to The Editor~~~
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Dear Tulevision:
I am confused by your
news. All you ever do is print news about yourselves. Who cares.
Really!
The only thing astonishing
about the Daily Astonisher is that you think anyone cares. You all
belong in a loony bin.
Signed, "Saner than you'll
ever be"
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~~~~~~~~~~~
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Dear Tulevision Guys:
I'm worried about all of
you. Reality, once faced, is not such a bad thing. Tulevision
should try it sometime.
Signed, "I wish I
could help"
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~~~~~~~~~~~
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How can you
help earthquake victims in India? FIND
OUT HERE
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Email the Editor |
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