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Alger Tule
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Monday, October 23, 2000

MOUSEGRRRLLS' REPS SORT THROUGH RECORD DEALS
By a Staff Reporter
In what one show biz analyst called a potential feeding frenzy, major record label interest in Tulevision's top musical act, the MouseGrrrlls, is heating up. Tongues wag as word of secret negotiations between the MouseGrrrlls' unofficial representatives and 5 major record labels fly about the Internet. "We are fielding one offer after another," reported Robert Faire, Esq., who has volunteered to overlook talks between the MouseGrrrlls' producer, Dr. Dreemz and "various interested parties" in "the recording industry."
Meanwhile the MouseGrrrlls have been secluded in the Music Studio recording their new single, "Spread It by Word of Mouse."

BREAKING NEWS! THIS WEEK'S NEW VOTE IS ONLINE

TULEVISION WELCOMES NEW REPORTER WITH DROPPED JAWS
By a Staff Reporter
   "I will do my best to drag this website out of the mire." Those were the first words Mavis Davis spoke to her fellow employees at Tulevision last Friday in the Tulevision staff lounge.
   Tulevision employees, still reeling from the news that Tulevision's former ace investigative reporter, Talia Witt, had no intention of returning to the website from her last assignment covering the unrest in Fiji several months ago, were abuzz with dissent over the new hiring.
   "With dot-com unemployment rates soaring, it could be seen as unwise to hire additional staff, but we'll see," was the only comment from The Editor at Tulevision."
   Other employees at the website were less tactful.
   "That's it. It's all over for Tulevision. I'm sending out my resume to other websites!" remarked Gil Tanner, Tulevision's resident private eye. Mr. Tanner later retracted his observation when informed by this reporter that it would be used for this story.

SCANDAL PLAGUED WEBSITE TOTTERING IN RATINGS
By a Staff Reporter
   In an astonishing web development, the Tulevision website's founder, Alger Tule, announced the planned revamping of his floundering website as a bow to recent reports of slipping viewership.
   "We need new gimmicks and we need them now," agreed Bob "Money Boy" Nichols, the new CEO of the Tulevision Commerce Department.
   "Gimmicks are fine if they don't interfere with the quality of the current content," offered Web Boy, an Internet consultant to the site and one of its original designers. "I would love to spend more time on Tulevision, but I really owe my time to sites that actually pay me for my work."

Next Week: Behind the Tulevision Budget Scandal, an investigative report by Tulevision's new ace investigative reporter, Mavis Davis.

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